Sunday, 12 June 2016

What Your Teacher Thinks as They Invigilate Exams (Spoiler: It’s Mostly About Farts)




…I wonder if it’s more boring to take this exam or stare at kids as they take this exam…Why does it take so long for kids to sit in their seats and close their mouths?...oh wait, cause there are 50 of them...they are many, I am few…Pffff, it’s not my time they’re wasting….I’ll wait…It’s really cold in here…I wonder if these kids are going to cheat…My thoracic spine hurts…It’s probably my unsupportive shoes….dad wouldn’t be happy about them…but I do look pretty snazzy today….but also kind of like Justin Bieber…I definitely think Bieber would wear this outfit…Is that kid cheating…why is he playing with his hat?...Do you think the kids could smell it if I farted?...Could I pass this exam?...After this it’s lunch…Whoops, definitely farted…maybe if I move around the room they won’t know it’s me…is my angry face on?...this exam is hard, I think I might fail it…why the hell is it so wet over here?...do I need to yell at someone about this?...yah, this fart is pretty smelly…this is taking a long time….what am I drinking tonight?...Ok now THAT kid totally just farted…don’t laugh, don’t laugh…talk over the laughter about something important… YAH NAILED IT, GREATJOB...this is the longest exam ever…Tebogo is totally cheating, I’m going to write something on his paper…when does the liquor store close?…what am I doing at the gym today?... dude, I’m so gassy, what the hell?...is it too late now to say sorry?...he say me have to work, work, work, work, work, he see me do me dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt…that answer's wrong…so do I let McCheater pants finish the exam or make a big scene out of this?...my armpits are sweaty, but my hands are cold…FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY…ok crap, that fart actually made a lot of noise...pretend  to cough!...this is the slowest 15 minutes of my life…is it unethical to take 30 minutes off of their time to write the exam because I’m bored...Dumbledore would say "yes"…ok fine…I think I’d prefer to take this exam right about now…farts…

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