have been both exactly what I expected while simultaneously very different. It's been hard to articulate in my head how I feel about aspects of my new life, so I didn't exactly want to start blowing up the internet with premature impressions.
On one hand, I am more comfortable than I need to be. I have a car (which I haven't had in my previous cosmopolitan life), I have a gym, I live with other young Americans gals in our own house, at home I'm mostly walking around in just a sports bra, I have internet and vegetables, there is protein powder and Netflixs. I'm distracted and that wasn't really the point. On the other hand, much of my school experience has been similar to my experience in Namibia. A lot of what I have to talk about I feel I already ranted extensively on on Not Far Off The Main Road. Teaching is hard, the kids don't understand me, both my school and myself don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing, I often have no idea what's going on, I live in the library like a gremlin, and whine whine whine. It's been this weird back and forth in my head of "you knew exactly what you were getting yourself into," and "but this is haaaaarrrrrddd."
Overall, the skill level of my learners is much higher than in Namibia, which has it's own pros and cons. They can articulate they like my cat eye make up, but the trade off can be a high level of snark. If I've talked to you since February, I'm sure I've gone off on a diatribe against the poor behavior of some of my learners. If I haven't, a quick highlight of hell includes learners: laughing at my accent/mocking me to my face, kicking in doors, writing "Ms. J must fall" on the board, walking out of class as soon as we make eye contact, jumping on top of and across desks, and wrestling their phones out of my hands as I try to take them and sprinting down the hall. rude. I also have 40+ kids in each class and every day I'm just in the room like:
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| Herding Cats Like Nobody's Business... |
I've also had learners who are inspiring, gorgeous, precious creatures. One who I had never seen before approached me after a very frustrating class to read her poetry. It was electric, passionate, and moving. She went off about wanting to save the world but not knowing if she should be a neurosurgeon or a poet to do so. I told her to be both. I have a few who DEVOUR books with articulate vocabularies, others who specify their favorite music is "deep house" (because apparently just "house" isn't cool enough), and another who continues to bring my partner and I drafts of the science fiction novel he is writing. He's such a character I can't help but search for him in the halls. He will try and speak French with me. I don't know why. He knows I don't do that....and he doesn't know French either...
Anyways. We are at the start of Term 2 today. Term 1 was hectic and disorganized and I hadn't really found my footing. When I first got to school I started subbing, which turned into "THESE ARE NOW YOUR CLASSES," which morphed into "JK, you're co-teaching," which then shape shifted into "No, let's not do that." So, I felt like most days were a crap shoot. Now, I guess I'm ready to get back in the ring. I'm starting with new kids, moving from Grade 9 to Grade 8, and working with my Fulbright partner to dominate all the Grade 8 classes in the school and crush the national exams.
But, let's do this. I'm here to teach, right? Honestly, I love all these nuggets. I even love the kids that drive me INSANE and make me cry/contemplate physical violence...it's just a very VERY different kind of love. As a person, I'm a project that is not even close to finished. I'm not wise, I'm not grown, I don't feign I've got it together. I'm not trying to drop knowledge I don't have on my learners. But, I went to a fantastic school not because I'm WICKED SMAHT but because I tenaciously and over-ambitiously worked my butt off. While that was partially due to a solid case of "middle child syndrome," it was also a result of being fortunate enough to have teachers and professors who told me to GET IT TOGETHER. They expected nothing but honest and dedicated effort and who set bars higher than I could see. I know how education has shaped my life and led me to awesome galavanting adventures. I have that going for me. So, I guess I know one or two things.
God, I missed talking about myself over the internet. Thanks for being there with me guys. Also here's a vid about my every day life:
(*pool no longer a thing. That was where I lived my first month, which was an Air BnB situation as I looked for permanent housing...)
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